Re: Homeownership

Mio Innamorato,

We are at an interesting time, economically. I've been watching prices and wages for the past decade and a half and have started to wonder how the system is going to cope. Inflation has increased prices and wages have not kept suite. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTzMqm2TwgE)

When I was younger, I heard about currency devaluation, especially in post-WWII Germany. Stories of it taking a suitcase of money to afford a pair of shoes. I have been wondering when it would happen here. All signs point to a global-scale economic shit-show shortly.

Broke countries are being called upon to prop up other broke countries' economies. For someone with more than a passing interest in economics, it is an indication that as crazy as the apocalypse sounds, it's just around the corner.

I have felt strongly for some time that self-sufficiency is one of the ways to maintain a health and appropriate way of life. If you are not averse to this, then this is what I would like to work towards with you, along with financial independence. I would like to learn to sew well, grow food and prepare more things from scratch. I would like us to learn home construction and maintenance, automobile maintenance, etc.

Additionally, I would like us to live on land which can help us sustain our selves. This brings me to the original link which sparked this letter. http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2007/07/16/renting-vs-buying-the-realities-of-home-buying/ I agree with this author that homeownership is often the ownership of the owner by the home/bank right now. While I would like us to purchase a lovely piece of land, I don't want us to have a massive loan to the bank. There is land available in this area for cheap, one just has to find it. Additionally, I would like us to plan out building so that it happens when we can afford it. I would like the building plan to have stages. At the same time, I would like us to be sure that this is the area for us, long-term. I don't know that it is. There are a lot of positives here, but there are also a lot of negatives. It is something I would like to actively discuss. Also, I am not averse to the idea of renting when we are posted. But something I'm very much more interested in is house flipping. I don't know how it works, so it is something I need to research but it is an idea for us, I think, to explore.

I am looking forward to seeing you on HLTA. I think, more than any of this or anything else, we need to work on building our communication. I don't feel that it is in a place that I would like it. I don't feel comfortable that we understand each other yet. I need more feedback from you because I feel that I either haven't explained myself fully or that you disagree with me a lot of the time. I know that you do not communicate well verbally (although you speak well and are brilliant and articulate and thoughtful) in a way that works for me and I don't want to say "I need you to change" but this isn't working for me so I would like to explore options with you of how to resolve this issue.

Frankly, there is no way we should be married at this stage, which is another of my struggles right now, of splitting the legal aspect from the marriage aspect (I love the idea of being "bound" to you but don't feel we've honoured that with a ceremony of any kind. I feel the so-called "marriage" (which is legally recognized as one) feels like a betrothal (which is kind of what we're treating it as, I think)) but right now I'm having problems with the vocabulary surrounding all of this, what feels like an ongepotchket. I DO NOT, in any way, regret legally marrying you but I need to remember and I would feel better if you acknowledged to me just now that we aren't technically married, we're only legally married.

I think I need for us to create ritual and ceremony in our lives. I want to live a life of meaning. One I haven't been, out of fear which isn't even mine.

Love,
Tuo Innamorata